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So you think your jokes are bad in the Christmas Crackers?
Well try these on for size!
Why should you never use beef stew as a computer password?
Because it’s not stroganoff.
We’re sorry to announce that the inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair is next monkey.
How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I’m addicted to checking my Instagram feed.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, I don’t follow.
Why did the IT Engineer turn up late for work?
Because they had a hard drive.
Why’s my computer just started singing the theme tune to Skyfall?
It must be a Dell.
Husband: What do IDK, LY and TTYL mean in text messages?
Wife: I don’t know. love you. talk to you later.
Husband. Ok... I'll ask later.
What was the first Computer ever used?
It was an Apple, owned by Adam and Eve. It had just one byte.
Thanks to autocorrect, this year my kids have sent their Christmas list to Satan.
Why couldn’t the customer get out of the Apple store?
Because there were no Windows.
My email password has been hacked again. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.
I love the F5 key. It’s just so refreshing.
What do you get if you Google How to light a fire?
68,500 matches.
Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they can’t C.
What did the Therapist say to the password?
Don’t listen to them. You ARE good enough, and you are a strong.
What did the website owner say after being hacked?
At least I kept the web address, that’s domain thing.
I Like to scroll through Instagram; it reminds me of what brand names I said out loud yesterday. (this is almost NOT a joke!)
Why did the student give up computer forensics?
Because he couldn’t hack IT.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.
Someone broke into my office and stole my external hard drive; they really got my backup.
What did the teenager say when they put their phone down?
OMG – I HAVE ANOTHER HAND!